“I can’t enumerate all the ways in which this is horrible.”

Our readers aren’t selected for their timidity; they can be brutal in their assessments of submissions. When they decline a work, they’re able to put it into a category that describes why they’re recommending that it be declined. In addition to the already-described “Inappropriate for VQR” category, there are others, including “Bad” and “Terrible.” Since I often get a laugh out of reading through some of the notes that our beleaguered readers provide for these particularly unfortunate submissions, it seems worthwhile to share them. Here are some of my favorites:

Of course, our readers have written thousands of reviews that are in-depth, reasoned, considerate, and polite. But they aren’t funny, so you won’t read them here.

05/02 Update: Read our followup, a combination mea culpa and collection of glowing reviews by readers.

05/05 Update: Ted Genoways, our editor, offers his thoughts and an apology.

* Identifying details have been changed to protect the innocent. Except for Faulkner. He can handle it.